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It's
a harsh fact of life, but about one out of two couples marrying
today will divorce in 10 years, and 70 percent of divorced parents
fail to build a cooperative post-divorce relationship that will
benefit their children.
"Some parents carry anger at the ex-spouse for their entire lives,"
said Ann Diede, an extension educator in Chelan and Douglas counties.
Helping
children caught in the middle has been the aim of a court-mandated
parent education class conducted by Cooperative Extension in five
counties in northeast and north central Washington since 1997.
In Chelan, Douglas, Pend Oreille, Ferry, and Stevens counties, parents
of minor children filing for divorce, seeking legal separation,
change of custody or a change of visitation rights are required
by Superior Court to take the class. Instructors cover a broad range
of topics to help couples understand what is going on in their lives.
Instructors also talk about what happens to children and what kinds
of reactions can be expected from children of different ages. "It's
hard to get through all of the curriculum in just four hours," said
Janet Kiser Lambarth, extension educator in Pend Oreille County.
She coordinates the class in Pend Oreille, Stevens, and Ferry counties.
Diede coordinates it in Chelan and Douglas counties.
More
than 2,100 people have taken the class since it was first offered
in 1997. "Some resent taking it," Kiser Lambarth said, "but, 99.9
percent say they're glad they came after they've had the four hours
of class."
End-of-class
evaluations have elicited such responses as, "I learned not to put
children in the middle of conflicts and how to co-parent better,"
and "I learned to take time to see things the way my children will
see them and make sure to tell them the divorce was not their fault
and that I love them."
Follow-up
surveys conducted up to three years afterward have found parents
continue to apply concepts taught in the class. Judges have given
the class positive marks as well.
"The
class has had an appreciable effect on the people who take the classes,"
said Superior Court Judge Rebecca M. Baker in a 2002 review.
"People
are more willing to pay child support on time and parents are not
as scarred by the process. The more we can do to de-escalate what
goes on in these kinds of cases, the better it is for everyone,
including judges, lawyers, parents, and children."
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Superior Court Judge Rebecca M. Baker
and Janet Kaiser Lambarth |
Instructors use "Children Cope With Divorce," a copyrighted curriculum
developed by Families First, a social service organization in Atlanta,
Ga. "It's very thorough and well-written," said Kiser Lambarth.
Another
attraction: the parent handbook also is available in Spanish. "I
needed to be able to serve the Hispanic population here," Diede
said. "That was a major factor for me."
During the year, Diede offers 14 classes in English and four in
Spanish in Chelan and Douglas counties. Kiser Lambarth offers classes
five times a year in Pend Oreille County and six times a year in
Stevens County.
The extension faculty handle all the paper work and set the schedules.
They also train the instructors and do some teaching as well.
Each
class is taught by a man and woman team. Their training consists
of a four-hour orientation plus attendance at one of the four-hour
classes. While instructors are paid for their work, money is not
their primary motivation, according to Kiser Lambarth.
"They
are usually interested in doing it even before they hear about the
money. They just think society needs some help."
However,
pay does provide recognition of good work and helps keep skilled
instructors in the fold, Diede adds.
Teachers
include educators, social workers, mental health counselors, and
a retired extension faculty member.
Fees
charged to participants underwrite most of the costs of the program.
This year the Chelan-Douglas Regional Support Network is picking
up some expenses for Diede.
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Kiser Lambarth and
Diede should feel pretty good right now. Their Children Cope With
Divorce program was one of two WSU Extension family living programs
recently selected as a Program of Excellence by the Cooperative
State Research, Education and Extension Service, and will be featured
on a CSREES Web site to encourage its replication across the country.
Dennis Brown,
Information Department
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